On the eve of leaving in a week, I would love to make a compilation of memories
and learnings that I will never forget.
I came here with many insecurities, but with a strength that was unknown to me, it
had been a long time since I had confronted the world as I do now, I always told
myself every time I had to face a situation that tested me: “You are not capable,
you don’t deserve this ̈, and that turned me into a personified limiter.
Clearly insecurities that had always been instilled in me, I come from a place in
which I have not had an education and I was the one who had to face things as
best I could, known as “an irremediable problem” because it happened that I had
no discipline in absolute. However, i always managed to get out of everything,
with more or less strength but i got out.
I have always considered myself as a person who, despite everything, managed to
get out of situations and that is because I am constantly changing, that has been
the story of my life, changing and adapting to hostile environments, foster homes,
unwelcoming schools, my own being. However, there was always a void inside me
that I did not know how to fill, immersed in constant depressions and insecurities
that prevented me from knowing the world.
After all, I found a welcoming environment in which I could express myself freely,
even though there were things about myself that I didn’t even know and it was
difficult for me to express them. I reconciled with my parents and am currently in
the process of doing so with myself. After an arduous and slow journey of self-
discovery, which I have not yet finished, I decided to finally face the world, since I
felt that I was still tied to my insecurities, and that is how I got here, starting my life.
I leave knowing so many things that I can’t even count, I decided to embark on this
adventure, which not only meant a drastic change in my life, but another
opportunity to get to know myself and face again everything that was bubbling
inside me. I feel that spark that I innocently did when I was a child, even when the
situations were dire.
I have finally learned to be alone with myself and that that is okay, I have known
and embraced those moments of peace, enjoying what I saw and open to learning
everything. My dreams and projects are taking shape and I finally feel what my
purpose is in this world: to share and help those who do not have the opportunity,
to listen and experience, things that I have always liked.
I have learned to set limits and realize that no matter how much I love something I
cannot allow everything, and that is wonderful. Now I know what I want in my
environment, my life and my future. I know that I want this country life in which to
enjoy the moments as I already do and take even circumstances that seem bad
and have fun with them, I know that I want to work with animals and learn from
their magnificence. I have learned to enjoy the adventures of my life, before I only
thought “what have I done so that these things always happen to me”, now I just
welcome them in my arms.
Of course I still have insecurities and moments when I feel like shit, but now I
dedicate time to them, I know that they are necessary and that I have to feel it too. I
have learned that the worst thing that can happen to you is that you stop feeling,
since I have lived it.
In the end, life is about that, creating, living, learning, transforming and
remembering.
Thank you very much for everything, it has been a pleasure to share with you, I will
always remember it . 😀